I apologise for the lack of updates. It has been a bit of a waiting game lately. The IF had finally found and picked a donor. A college cutie. We were told she would be available either beginning of Dec. Or Jan. She was waiting for school to start to arrange the time off with her professors beings the reproductive clinic is not open during Xmas break. Well yesterday the IF was told she wouldn't be available till march, spring break. Aaahhh that sucks Not wanting to wait I offered to do a traditional surrogacy. I think he's a little hesitant which I fine of course I just wanted offer. I know how anxious he is to start his family. He decided to keep looking and found two donors that will work with ORM and are ready NOW!!! I think this will be happening very shortly!! He has asked for my help to decide between the two!! I should have another update soon!!
After reviewing many profiles and multiple agencies the IF (with a little help from your truly) were able to narrow it down to the top three. He submitted the choices and waiting for the egg donor agency to work their magic......
The #2 choice responds right away but we wait to see if #1 responds. After two weeks and no response he goes with #2 only find out she has changed her mind :(
The IF and I are communicating regularly. This is so exciting. He asked for my opinion on egg donors. What a hard choice so many to choose from and so many very beautiful donors. He sends me his picks and asks me to pick my top choices. I'm so flattered. On to getting testing done for me. Hoping to transfer late August or September!!!
A little bummed that it didn't work out I began to look forward to talking to my next potential match. Checking my email regularly I was surprise to see an email from the agency so soon. I opened it to read, that the IF I had talked to before "didn't want to do the surrogacy without me". I was both shocked and extremely flattered!! How exciting its official I have a match. Now I can start communicating with him and get the preliminary testing out of the way. I can't even describe how excited I am. I get to help start a family and soon I will be prego again!!!
As I wait anxious and excited a few days pass. An email arrives!!! The IF would love to have me as his surrogate.....BUT, he wants to use the agency for matching only.
At first I thought that's no big deal, so his lawyer handles the escrow (money). As I thought about it and Kathy explained it to me I didn't like the idea. I sought a second opinion from a friend who is on her third surrogacy (Tina). Ultimately it comes down to what I'm comfortable with. Beings this is my first go around and I'm not sure of the process I decided to tell Kathy I was not comfortable with the agency not doing the escrow portion and everything in-between. Also Tina said something that really helped me, " When its right everything will fall into place" I agree, the search continues...
After filling the application, talking to friends and family, I'm ready!!
So what's next?
Finding a match......
After a few weeks the agency contacts me with information on an intended father ( IF). I am to sift through the bio and decide if I would like to have a conference call. How exciting, the possibility of a match already. After reading thru I want to know more. Let's talk
The conference call is Kathy from the agency, me and in this case the IF. After coordinating our schedules we talk!!! At this stage it is important to make sure that the you agree on the big issues such as selective reduction and in what instance is abortion an option if at all. After that is all clear for me I want to feel a connection. Feel comfortable with the person and ultimately want to work together.
The call goes great!!! We are on the same page with the major issues, have a great conversation and personally I felt a connection! Kathy tells us to let her know one way or the other and we would proceed from there. That evening I sent an email stating I would love to work with this IF.
Now I wait, anxious and excited to see if he wants to work with me!!